Finding Acceptance
Hi there,
Can you believe we are into September already? Fall is just around the corner and we are heading into another season of change and growth. 🍂
These last few weeks have been full of change in my life personally as my partner and I sold our first house, moved into our new house, and I co-led a women’s retreat all in August. It was a whirlwind month and left very little time for slowing down and processing through all the changes. Now that the dust has begun to settle, I have been taking more time to reflect on the internal work I did while on retreat this year.
While there was less time for me to sit and participate in the groups because of all the extra yoga classes I was in charge of, I still had the opportunity to participate in a few. A main goal for the retreat was to let go and create the change you need in your life. I found myself called to let go of similar beliefs I have been holding onto and working to unload for a very long time.. (like close to ten years now). It can be frustrating to know that the things popping up and holding you back are thoughts and emotions you have been working on releasing for what feels like forever. However, I can see how each year that goes by, each therapy session I attend, each yoga practice I embrace - things are shifting, bit by bit. I can’t control how these shifts happen and I can only trust that they will keep moving in the direction of healing.
So what am I trying to let go of…? Self-judgement and loathing for past choices and decisions. When I bring a yoga perspective into this I think about how you can’t do every yoga pose at once, you can’t attend a fast-paced flow class and a restorative class at the same time, you can’t focus on your breath, and your body and your senses. You can’t do all the options on the mat or in life. We have to make choices, move forward, pivot, make more choices, and keep moving. We have to make choices with the hope that we can embrace the path we chose and accept all the other paths we left behind. I have often found myself dwelling on and daydreaming about what my life would be like if I could just go back and tweak one thing and change some decisions, but where would that lead me? Would I have all the things I love about my life still in it? Similar to the butterfly effect- what life would I have and would I be any more content?
I think when we get stuck in the round of ‘what ifs’ or bogged down with too many choices we can lose sight of where we are right now. When I was taking my trauma teacher training, one thing we learned was not to give too many options or choices in your cues during class. While it may seem like giving more options creates more freedom for movement, it actually creates confusion, not freedom. The chaos within the brain and body of trying to make the ‘right’ choice becomes overbearing and we lose sight of what the goal of having choice within the practice is- To move in a way we want for our body in that present moment. When I have fallen trap of offering too many options during class it is almost always met with students only following what I am doing, not exploring the other options for themselves because it has become too overwhelming. It is a good reminder to myself that thinking of all the other ways in which life could have shifted or taken a different turn only makes me lose sight of why I made the decisions I did - because it was what I thought was best for me at that time.
If you feel like you have some time and space to reflect on what you might need to find acceptance around in order to create change and move forward I offer you these questions to ask yourself and move through.
5 Questions for Finding Acceptance
What beliefs about yourself or your life are getting in the way? Where can you reach back and hold the hand of your 19, 13, 9 etc… year old self?
What does this past version of yourself need to hear? What messages can you send to your heart and be open to receiving? Can you look back with kindness and understanding? What does that past version of you need to hear from the current you, right now? What wisdom can you lend?
How are you upholding perfectionism or criticism of yourself within your life? What messages do you send to yourself when you make a mistake? How can you embrace compassion for yourself right now and send compassion towards yourself in the past?
What would you say to a friend, child, or loved one if they had gone through something similar? Think about what words or phrases you would use to comfort a friend who was sharing their story with you. Can you speak similarly to yourself?
Take time to reflect on the here and now. When looking back we can lose sight of where we are right now. What good things do you have in your life? What brings you joy? Reflect on the big and small things.
Picture from the forest sound bath at retreat this year.
