Happy Birthday Lessons
Hi,
Thanks for letting me pop into your inbox. I am always grateful to have you in community and yoga spaces. I wanted to talk to you about some new movement experiences I have dove into recently and take some time to reflect on what plans I have for the studio coming up. This past week I celebrated my 26th birthday, which was exciting. Birthdays always make me feel reflective and I am looking forward to a new year of growth and engaging with life. For me, sometimes looking forward and knowing all the years I have ahead of me can feel exhausting and daunting so, I like to take time to pause and ground myself in what is currently happening in life right now. The paradox of having past experiences with wanting to no longer engage with life because of mental illness makes each birthday a special celebration of still being here and showing up, no matter how imperfectly that might be.
I have been jumping into a new movement practice over the past three weeks which has me feeling excited and also humbled. I had been on the hunt for a weightlifting program for the past year since the trauma informed certification program I studied with announced its new integration of Trauma Informed Weightlifting certification training. I was curious to find out how this new trauma informed movement practice could be an extension of how I work with trauma survivors and what offerings I have here at the studio. However, before I could hop into the training, I obviously need to learn how to do weightlifting myself so I began looking for some coaching opportunities. I found a 6-week program to join and now work out 3 times a week with a group of about 20 women who vary in experience level. Overall, I am enjoying this new challenge but, I wanted to share some hard lessons I have come up against on this journey with the hope you can learn with me. I also hope you know if you have these same struggles you are not alone.
1. Learning new things as an adult is chock-full of vulnerability, doing it with 20 other adult women who I don't know skyrocketed my vulnerability meter. It was hard going into an experience where I know I will not be perfect at everything I try and will fail several times before I get better. I usually do okay with trying new skills when I can do them privately. I started to learn how to knit this year but I worked through the basics on my own and only talked to people about it when I wanted to. I didn't join a big knitting class or group as a beginner where my confidence in the skill was really low to try and dodge the vulnerability. This was not an option here, so I just had to jump in and embrace the uncertainty. This reignited my empathy for those who want to participate in a yoga class and find there are some big vulnerability hurdles to get through in order to start. If that is you, I understand and would love to chat about what we can do to make the transition easier for you and other new students.
2. Asking for help in movement classes is still very hard for me! 😬 Sometimes practicing what you preach is so dang hard. A big part of my mission is to empower yoga students to feel connected with their bodies and own the choices they are making for themselves. I have found it so hard to embody this practice myself in these classes. There has been a lot of inner work and checking in each class. I am trying to step back, make modifications, and advocate for myself and what my body needs over and over again in these classes, and each time I do it is hard. Bonus points for when I can do it and not feel any shame or judgment about it. I am trying to tell myself if the coach doesn't know what is going on with my body they can't help me so I have to talk about it. It's okay to talk about pain, injuries, and when your body needs a break. I am also trying to embody more positivity towards my body when needing to make modifications as a celebration that I advocated for myself and I am showing a great example to the other women who may also have those needs.
3. My body doesn't act or perform like a robot. It needs rest, it has limits, boundaries, and a stress capacity limit. I am learning to give my body the same compassion I ask students to give their bodies when in class with me. I am beginning to acknowledge the gift of having a shared space and environment where self-compassion and informed care come first. Gym and weightlifting community spaces are often competition-led, bodies are pushed to their limits, and mental health around body image suffers. I can recognize the education and care put into my training around trauma-informed movement practices and the privilege and insight it has given me. The perspective shift from my training has helped to dismantle some of these issues while engaging in this new movement practice. There is no competition or hierarchy of movement when in class. There are many opportunities to check in and choose to try a movement with full permission to say "no" and not have anyone question that decision. What a great gift that can be for students. I am grateful to facilitate classes where that is the goal.
4. It's not your first initial thought that counts but what comes after. Several years ago when I first tried a gym/ weight style class just out of high school I always left feeling awful about myself and my body. I didn't feel strong, capable, or confident. I allowed my internal judgment to ravage my mind while working out to the point of feeling both physically and mentally exhausted by the end of the class. While I still have moments and thoughts like this, I remind myself, that it isn't the first thought that counts but what comes after. The first thought for me is the impulse, inner critic, or the mean girl voice and I know now it doesn't matter. What often follows those thoughts is 'Wow that was a very critical thought, it is okay to be struggling right now, and I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed' (although not always, no one is perfect). I try my best to allow the first thought to go by and follow it up with compassion and encouragement towards myself and my body. This practice has really helped so far. I hope there are areas of your life you can find to implement a similar thought process. Where do you find yourself starting out with a critical voice? Being mindful of when it is happening is the first step towards creating change with the follow-up thoughts of self-compassion and encouragement.
5. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing, take care of you. I began feeling significant amounts of back pain after 2 weeks of this class and I felt awful stepping out of movements and not being able to fully participate. I felt like the other women were judging me. I felt like a failure. One of the biggest lessons I am learning right now is I don't have to do things perfectly to be allowed space to show up. I don't have to have a perfect body, or perfect form to be allowed space to be in classes. My body is not a failure for communicating pain to me. My body is not a failure when it needs to take breaks or modifications. And neither is yours.
I have sat down to write to you and talk about this experience many times over the past few weeks. When you are in the thick of it, it can be hard to truly articulate what you are feeling. There have been a lot of positive experiences with this class I would also like to share with you in the future. I have enjoyed the mental and physical challenge this new space has given me. I did want to share my thoughts on the harder parts of this experience because we rarely hear from beginners. The yoga story I share and talk about is now close to 10 years in the making and not very relatable to most students. It is important to remember what it feels like to be new at something, to connect with the vulnerability it takes to learn new things, and how stepping into uncertainty can trigger so many deep emotions and stories about ourselves. The experiences with this new class have given me new insights into how I can set up my yoga classes to be more beginner-friendly. I am also full of empathy for anyone trying new things right now. I hope you can take some time to reflect on your experiences as well (I would love to hear about them!).
Studio News :)
It has almost been a year since starting my first classes at The Gratitude Practice studio 😲. I am very grateful for your support in starting this journey. It has given me the ability to step fully away from my other teaching positions and focus fully on building this studio. This means I have the space to add more class times to the schedule!
Thursday 6:30 pm: Yoga for Mental Health Providers and First Responders
Help spread the word about this class. Our first responders need support!
Saturday 9:30 & 10:00 am: Morning yoga class
Sunday 9:30 & 10:00 am: Morning yoga class
*Once the weather perks up consistently the Saturday and Sunday classes may transition to outside classes. I taught yoga classes in the park for the past two years and they are a great way to move your body while also getting time outside during the summer!
I have a quick favor to ask you 🙏 I would like your opinion on two things.
1. Would you be interested in adding another yoga for teens & adolescents class to Wednesdays at 5?
If so please click here and let me know.
2. Would you be interested in coming to a workshop about burnout for mental health providers, first responders, and frontline workers? This would be a 1-hour workshop with a suggested donation price of $5. I'm thinking of the end of May for the date.
If you would be interested in attending that please click here and let me know.
If you have another topic you would like covered in a workshop, blog post, or newsletter, let me know! Respond to this email or shoot me a message.
Thanks so much for being here and joining me for classes. If you would like to help me out while growing this new business share this email with someone you think would benefit from it. Or bring a friend with you to class next time you pop in! Spreading the word always helps.
Lots of love to you,
-Janae Kara
