Thanks for joining me in my little quarantine bubble. Covid has struck (again!) this time it hit harder with some nasty symptoms. I hope all is well with you and yours and if not may we weather these storms together. Today is just a quick message from me as I don't have much to give right now (lol). This last week or so I had many conversations with friends and students about coming back from the holidays, getting back into a rhythm, and finding their pacing again. I came back feeling exhausted. My partner jokingly said "We are just limping across the finish line" and he was right. I think I am still in search of the balance between family, traditions, AND celebrating with rest, boundaries, and quality time. I decided to write down a reminder to myself about how I was feeling at the end of the holidays to help inform my future self about what changes might be appropriate for next year.

Winter bules are hard to get through and you may be noticing some changes in your body and in your mind while the season has been changing. Energy levels can be very hard to keep up when we are experiencing less sunlight each day. It can also seem like time is warping with the extended periods of darkness. The solstice gives us the reminder, the season will keep turning and we are now on our way back towards the summer months. I have found accepting winter for what it is has significantly helped me change my mindset and feel better.

It is amazing to see all the ways we are connected to the weather and the natural world around us. It is a great reminder to see how interconnected we are with the Earth and with each other. I like to use the weather as a signal to come out of autopilot. There have been many times I am caught rushing from one errand to the next over and over and I end the day feeling burnt out. I call these autopilot or robot days, as I don't feel fully human and plugged into the world when I am rushing around stuck in my own head and checking off to do lists. I love when I step outside and the weather forces me to pay attention. You feel the cold on your face, wind blowing, or rain falling on your skin. You might see snowflakes drifting down to the earth or the skies clearing and some blue peeking through. This is essentially using mindfulness techniques to notice what is happening in your moment to moment experiences (hooray for practicing mindfulness!).

I think one of the more powerful things I have learned through yoga and mindfulness is the ability to recognize these feelings at all. Past years have brought around similar emotions without the clarity and understanding to recognize them for what they are (signals). I would end up allowing my anxiety to take over in different ways like over shopping/spending, over scheduling myself, and having an overhanging dread everyday of December.

I have been thinking a lot about empowerment in the last week. It is a term I feel a bit shifty around. I can recall past times where I have felt empowerment however, trying to put a definition around empowerment is tricky for me as it is more of a feeling than a concrete thing.

I can describe times where I have stood with squared shoulders and taken a stance, times where I have taken a deep breath and hit send advocating for myself and my needs, and I can describe times where my body has amazed me with its grace, power, and ability creating a feeling of fearless power within physically. I would argue these are all examples of empowerment but, I would like to talk specifically about finding empowerment within your yoga practice.

I've recently had the opportunity to talk with several yoga students I currently teach, listen to their stories, and ask them about yoga + mental health. A frequent theme and question popped up in many of these conversations around "am I allowed to come to a trauma informed yoga class if I haven't had capital T trauma?" and "I don't think of myself as a trauma survivor". These statements and questions led me to write this little letter to you today wanting to explain, clear some things up, and invite you to see things from a new perspective.

There is a difference between Trauma Sensitive and Trauma Informed. This may not be universal however, from my training and what I will be teaching at The Gratitude Practice there are a few differences between the two terms. All the classes I teach at the studio are trauma informed. This just means that I take into account the different aspects of my training and implement them into your "usual" yoga class. You can think of trauma informed classes as a typical yoga class with trauma informed elements sprinkled in. I teach all my classes this way because I believe everyone can benefit from the care and guidelines of trauma informed teaching even if they are not there for that specific type of class. Trauma Sensitive is a higher level of trauma care. Trauma Sensitive classes can be slower than a typical yoga class, there is no set sequence of the class as it is all built around choice (more on this later), and there are many different options for movement offered for you to try in each moment.

Many people have asked me "what is trauma informed yoga?". Well I would say the key part of trauma informed yoga practices is CHOICE. The teacher is taking every opportunity they can to add as much choice into the practice as possible. This is key, as Judith Lewis Herman states in her book, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, "The first principle of recovery is empowerment of the survivor". Trauma can be defined as an extreme lack of choice, lack of choice around what happens to ourselves and our bodies. Trauma informed and Trauma sensitive yoga practices allow the participant to re-empower themselves within the relationship between the teacher and themselves. When you are taking a trauma informed yoga class you are the expert of your own body, you are invited to participate at whatever level you choose moment to moment, and you get to choose how you are moving (or not moving) your body throughout the whole class.

A little about Me + The Gratitude Practice

Hi :)

It's so nice to have you here! I think it would be good to start out with a little introduction.

I ended up spending several hours reading back through each journal and was struck with the realization that depression has played a huge part in my life. I can chuckle at myself a bit because “duh, of course it has why do you think you are in therapy” but, honestly seeing page after page of suicidal thoughts, depressive episodes, and desperation written in plain words from me at 10 years old… 13 years old…17 years old… 21 years old etc. was a big “ah ha” moment around the impact it has had on my life.